Each neuron has dozens of dendritic connections for communication between different brain cells. To make the connections visible, a golden orange-yellow stain is used on the brain tissue. Against the background, the dendrites appeared black. To maintain and even enhance your physical well-being, your attitude, and your experience of life—all of which are core to agelessness—you have to be connected to your life force. Creativity, joy, prosperity, pleasure, lushness, love, and faith are all part of being ageless. Each is both an emotional state and a biochemical reality that results in the free flow of life energy throughout the body. Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work has documented how thinking thoughts with enough amplitude (as measured by EEGs) literally changes the neural connections in our brains. Modern brain-scanning techniques have documented beyond a shadow of a doubt how powerful our minds are to, quite literally, change and heal our bodies—and our lives. What we refer to as “faith” translates into the amount of time and intention it takes for new nerve cell connections to form from new habits of thought. That intention and that desire are what you must tap within yourself to become an ageless goddess. (These astonishing neural pattern changes are beautifully documented in Dispenza’s TEDx talk—which is well worth watching.) So now that you’ve learned about the power of your mind, heart, and spirit to transform your body and transcend outdated cultural portals about age, the question is, how are you going to incorporate into your life practices that contribute to agelessness? What do you need to do to allow your true goddess self to emerge and flourish? In other words, what will it take for you to become happy, healthy, energized, and ageless? Remember that to find answers, you start by looking within. What do you know about what you have to do to be ageless? Physicians, healers, diagnostic tests, and checklists are all valuable tools, but becoming an ageless goddess means letting go of the fear that you aren’t smart enough, educated enough, or intuitive enough to make the right decisions for yourself.
If you’re reading this, you have what it takes to be in charge of your health and work effectively with the tools and resources available to you. What do you most need to do to begin living agelessly instead of in fear of aging? I’ve created a 14-day program or checklist to keep it simple and make it easy for you to begin living agelessly. There’s plenty of room for personalization in this program. You have to tailor these formulas to your own life and listen to your body’s wisdom about what’s right for you. Pay attention to your instincts and your body’s signals as you work the program for two weeks. When you get to Day 3 or Day 4, you’ll find that your energy, mood, and well-being are better than they were before. After you’ve completed the program, notice how revitalized you feel. Change can be difficult. If it were easy to live joyfully and agelessly, everyone would be doing it! In part, it’s difficult to change because we often get more support from our family or friends for being stuck than for doing what it takes to truly flourish. Notice whether that has been true for you. The activities for each day of the program won’t take more than a few minutes—after all, you can look into your eyes in your bathroom mirror and say, “I love you. I really love you!” out loud, and create a genuine feeling of love, in about 15 seconds. If you can’t do all the suggested activities in one day, do as many as you can. And if on a given day you decide you can do no more than affirm that you love yourself, that affirmation is powerful, because you’ve rejected perfectionism, self-criticism, and self-neglect and replaced them with nourishing love for yourself. Tomorrow is another day, so don’t stress yourself out when you can reconnect with Divine Love and replenish yourself. As part of the program, keep an Ageless Goddess journal in which you chronicle your activities and thoughts. This will help enormously in the future, because you’ll be able to joyfully look back and see how far you’ve come. Before going to sleep at night, reflect back on your day and savour all the delicious moments that were part of it. Notice what part of the program really spoke to you, what nourished you and filled you up, and what stressed you out. Can you do an activity differently so that instead of being a chore that drains you, it’s something you don’t mind, or something you actually look forward to? As you reflect on the activities you did and the thoughts associated with them, you’ll learn what deeply nourishes you and what doesn’t. As you look at the activities you skipped, reflect on why you didn’t do them. Why didn’t you make the time for self-nourishment? We’re always changing around our calendars and agendas to fit in everyone else’s needs, but we feel guilty blocking out time for our own pleasure and well-being.
But making yourself a priority is absolutely vital for ageless living! And if you skipped an activity because you were afraid it would make you feel uncomfortable, consider the payoff of holding on to old emotions and avoiding discomfort compared to the payoff of ageless living. If you were reluctant to do the grieving and raging exercises, remember that your feelings don’t have to overwhelm you. Prepare for the exercises with a Divine Beloved prayer affirming that you are always connected to Divine Love and support, and set the intention to do something pleasurable after you’ve done the hard work of opening up to your grief and rage so they can be released. Because it’s easier to tack a new habit onto an old one than to completely change the way you operate, plan to do the activities in the Ageless Goddess Program at times of the day when you’re most likely to remember to do them and be uninterrupted. If you’re not a morning person and you’re usually rushing to get out of the house after you wake up, don’t add more items to your already overstuffed morning routine and create more stress for yourself because of some old belief about early birds catching the worms. If you are most productive later in the day, when things are calmer, take a look at your afternoon or evening habits. Maybe that’s when you can add on journaling, or getting in touch with your body’s need for pleasure—whatever habit you’d like to add to your life so that you can be an ageless goddess. If you usually collapse onto the couch with a glass of wine and a remote control or your phone after work, try doing a couple of affirmations before you pour that wine. Or simply close your eyes and just remain fully present with yourself, being aware of the sensations in your body and what emotions come up for you, for five minutes. You might find you don’t really want or need the alcohol after all! And you’ll soon realize that you really aren’t replenished by calling your old friend who always has a sob story or a cynical attitude that change is impossible. Soon, you’ll find yourself eager to replace the old after-work routine with some stretches that revitalize you, plus a Divine Beloved prayer or two.
The 14-Day Ageless Goddess Program
Every day: Follow a low-glycemic diet that keeps blood sugar stable. Many volumes have been written on this topic, but it’s still new information for some. As I’ve said, it takes a long time to replace old ideas with new ones. Low-fat diets are outdated and obsolete; remember, we almost always make up for the lack of fat by eating more sugar when we should be eating plenty of healthy fats to keep our brains, skin, and organs healthy. Be sure to enjoy cheese, eggs, avocados, butter, healthy oils, grass-fed meats, and fish. If you’re a vegan, make sure you’re not eating too many high-glycemic carbs. It’s not fat or cholesterol that’s the culprit. It’s sugar in all its many forms, including alcohol. But don’t overthink this or stress out about what you should and shouldn’t eat. Healthy centenarians sure don’t. Remember that eating should be a pleasurable ritual, not some kind of fundamentalist activity. Eat lots of greens, healthy fats, and protein. Cut out or at least cut down on sugars and grains. Avoid processed foods. Get in those cruciferous vegetables! And enjoy eating with others. Take supplements that support health and wellness. The most important ones, and recommended dosages, are in the list that follows. The list can be used as a guideline. With any supplement, look on the label for “GMP,” which stands for “good manufacturing practice,” and the term “guaranteed potency” to ensure it’s a high-quality supplement. You won’t be able to get everything you need in just one tablet, but start with a good multivitamin, check the amounts of various vitamins and minerals in it, and use the chart below to fill in with nutrients that will support agelessness.
Table 1 Recommended Daily Supplementation
Multivitamin (See note above)
Vitamin C 1,000 to 5,000 mg
Vitamin D3 2,000 to 5,000 IU
Vitamin A (as beta-carotene) 25,000 IU
Vitamin E (as mixed tocopherols) 200 to 800 IU
Alpha-lipoic acid 10 to 100 mg
Coenzyme Q10 (ubiquinone) 10 to 100 mg*
* Use 70 to 100 mg coenzyme Q10 if you’re at high risk for breast cancer. If you take a statin drug to lower your cholesterol, be sure to get your coenzyme Q10, because statin drugs reduce the levels of this important nutrient that’s rare in our diets anyway (unless we eat a lot of organ meats).
DHA 200 to 2,500 mg
EPA 50 to 2,500 mg
Thiamine (B1) 8 to 100 mg
Riboflavin (B2) 9 to 50 mg
Niacin (B3) 20 to 100 mg
Pantothenic acid (B5) 15 to 400 mg
Pyridoxine (B6) 10 to 100 mcg
Cobalamin (B12) 20 to 250 mcg
Folic acid 1,000 mcg
Biotin 40 to 500 mcg
Inositol 10 to 500 mg
Choline 425 mg
Minerals (use chelated versions for optimal absorption)
Calcium 500 to 1,200 mg
Magnesium 400 to 1,000 mg
Potassium 200 to 500 mg
Zinc 6 to 50 mg
Manganese 1 to 15 mg
Boron 2 to 9 mg
Copper 1 to 2 mg
Iron 15 to 30 mg
Chromium 100 to 400 mcg
Selenium 50 to 200 mcg
Molybdenum 45 mcg
Vanadium 50 to 100 mcg
Iodine 3 to 12.5 mg/day (from kelp or organic eggs, or from supplements)
Trace minerals from marine sources
For hormonal support in perimenopause or menopause to alleviate symptoms such as hot flashes and vaginal dryness, you can take Pueraria mirifica 80 to 100 mg twice per day. Make sure that the source is reputable and that the active ingredient, Puresterol, is on the label. Alternately, you can use maca, black cohosh, or ground flaxseed. If you have vaginal dryness, you can use any number of lubricants on the market, including those that contain Pueraria mirifica, which has been found to have a very beneficial effect on vaginal tissue. You can also ask your health care provider for a prescription for estriol vaginal cream, which is available through formulary pharmacies. Vaginal dryness is very, very easy to reverse. Connect with the Divine. Say Divine Beloved prayers, do affirmations, or simply surrender your life to the Divine. I’ve provided examples, and I’ll suggest some specific ones for each day, but you can make up your own. It’s important to allow emotions to come up naturally when you say prayers or affirmations. If you find yourself resisting them, know that beneath your resistance is the actual treasure—insight! Maybe you have to alter the wording you use, or substitute a prayer for an affirmation or vice versa. If affirmations or Divine Beloved prayers make you feel uncomfortable, it’s probably because, generally speaking, our minds don’t have a clue how to do any of this stuff. No one teaches us to say, “I’m wonderful!” And you may have bad memories about prayer. Honour that experience—I’m not asking you to deny its power. But recognize the power inherent in asking for the help of a loving, Divine force in feeling your worth. It’s infinitely helpful to simply pray for assistance in changing your beliefs, but you have to ask! As the Bible says, “Ask and it is given. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you.” It’s true. Believe me, a Divine Beloved Change Me prayer can work wonders in your life. Don’t let any initial discomfort or old baggage about God, religion, or prayer keep you from empowering, replenishing, and revitalizing yourself with these remarkable tools. You deserve to feel deeply beloved.
Activities for Days 1 Through 14
Day 1: Close cultural portals!
The focus of Day 1 is closing cultural portals and replacing old perceptions that prevent you from being ageless. Take some time on Day 1 of the program to think about these ideas and make some decisions and commitments that will nourish agelessness. Don’t act your age! In fact, don’t even think about it. Do something that might be considered “too young” for someone of “your age.” You could dress or style your hair differently, or go to a party or event where everyone’s younger than you are. The idea is to stop assigning meaning to numbers and thinking that a certain age is “old” or that you should or shouldn’t do something when you are in your 50s, your 70s, or your 90s because it’s “inappropriate.” Be aware of your self-talk and make sure it supports agelessness. Stop, breathe, and ask yourself, “What do I need to do for myself right now?” Maybe misplacing your phone is the universe’s way of telling you to stop checking in with your boss or clients to make sure they’re not disappointed in you. Choose how you will respond to questions about your age. You might say, “I’m in my ageless years,” or “I was born in the twentieth century.” Here’s my personal favorite: “My biological age is thirty-five and my mental/emotional age is three hundred.” Reject the senior discount. Cultural beliefs about age are far more potent than your genes. Now, if you’re taking the discount mindfully so you can get a break on seeing the midnight sci-fi movie with the crowd of teenagers, or attending a concert featuring a hot new band, that’s another story. Trust your gut on this one. Find a couple of role models who are your age or above and let yourself be inspired. If you have no role models for agelessness, find some. You might want to print out a photograph and quote of theirs and place it somewhere in your home so you see it daily. Spend a few minutes reading an interview with these ageless role models or watching a video of them.
Day 2: Experience the power of pleasure.
Affirmation: “I allow myself to experience pleasure, and my body, mind, and spirit rejoice.” Prayer: “Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who revels in the joy of life and in allowing others the supreme pleasure of delighting me.” Day 2 is a day for pure pleasure and fun. Rediscover what gives you pleasure and indulge in it, fully aware that by letting yourself be a joyful goddess, you’re boosting your immunity and helping your body repair cellular damage. Make today a special occasion. What have you been putting off for a special occasion? Using your good china and silverware? Dressing up? Saying no to chores or work? Declare today a special occasion. As humorist and stress-management consultant Loretta LaRoche says, “Life is short, so wear your party pants.” Experience pleasure that you would typically put off for a holiday or special occasion. Practice exalted emotions by experiencing pleasure and joy. If you’re not feeling enthusiastic about the day, try the inner smile exercise: Close your eyes. Smile. And then use the power of your mind to smile into your liver, your kidneys, your lungs, your heart, your genitals, your brain, your eyes, your ears, your nose—your entire body. This exercise instantly takes you into a better mood and builds immunity. Then find something that will give you pure pleasure—and do it. Watch funny videos for ten minutes. The ones of cats never fail to make me laugh, but you get to choose whichever ones appeal to you. Laughter releases nitric oxide and beta-endorphins into your bloodstream, boosting immunity.
Day 3: Empower your inner healer.
Affirmation: “My body is powered by Divine Radiant Substance and Divine Love. I am flourishing now!” Prayer: “Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who totally trusts my body and all the messages it gives me about how it wants to be treated.” On Day 3, the focus is on the mind/body connection. Find a balance between action and rest, and change your mind-set to support better physical and emotional health. There are many actions that can help your body heal itself, one of which is to tune in to your inner awareness of what you need to flourish. Honor that, regardless of what advice you encounter about how you “should” do this or “should” do that. Be mindful of what you eat today and make sure your food is nourishing. If you know you’re not moving very much throughout the day, move more. If you’re not sure you feel up to exercising, then just put on your workout gear and vow to be active for ten minutes. Often, those ten minutes will expand very pleasurably when you get past the initial inertia. Counteract stress by beginning to establish a habit of rest and restoration. A habit of relaxation is a must if you want to live agelessly. It doesn’t matter what you do—yoga, mindful breathing, listening to the reverberations of a brass singing bowl (used in meditation practice), bathing by candlelight, breathing in the smell of nature as you walk by a beach or in a park, or simply standing barefoot on the ground for 15 minutes. Even if you can only fit in 15 or 20 minutes, take that time for yourself. And think about how you can actually schedule in relaxation time. Where will it fit into your life? Make a commitment to resting and relaxing. Turn off the bad news. Don’t unnecessarily expose yourself to stressful situations and information that trigger an emotional response of anxiety, depression, or anger. Being a good mother, or daughter, or friend doesn’t mean you have to be the dumping ground for every negative thought or feeling your daughter, mother, or friend wants to express. Being informed doesn’t mean you have to expose yourself to a barrage of depressing information. Turn off CNN—the initials seem to stand for constantly negative news! Read good news or at least benign news that helps you have a better understanding of the world but gives you a sense of hope and helps you see what you can do to make a difference. Hang up, disconnect, and turn off your sources of stress today.
Ask your body what it needs for you to flourish. Your body has wisdom. Take a few moments to let your intuitive vision of what you need for good health come to you. You might get an image of lemon juice, symbolizing the need to detoxify your body. You might realize you really need a nap. If nothing comes to you when you ask yourself the question “What does my body need to heal and flourish?” ask it before you go to sleep and set the intention to get an answer in a dream. Make a God Box. Worry is by far the most common drainer of joy and enthusiasm that I know of. Make a God Box—it can be any box you designate for this purpose. Any time you have a worry, just write it down and put it in the box. Then, when the same worry arises, tell yourself, “It’s in the box.” It’s no longer on your To Do list—God is taking care of it. This practice can work wonders for alleviating worry and stress.
Day 4: Understand and implement the causes of health.
Affirmation: “Divine Love is now magnified throughout my body, mind, and spirit. I release all my problems to the Creator. I am alive with energy and radiant with glowing health.” Prayer: “May I be healed with Divine Love according to the Creator’s Will.” On Day 4, begin to reset any old habits of going on a “search and destroy” mission to seek out problems in your body and fix them. Commit to getting to know your body, expressing love to it, and listening to it. Agelessness is having faith in your body and in the future. Send love to your body. Affirm the health of your heart, breasts, and erotic anatomy. Envision sending love and appreciation to these parts of your body as you caress them. You might try the Body Love exercise and admire your body by candlelight. Pay attention to all that’s working about your body and affirm it. Close your eyes and feel how good it feels to have feet on the ground, a spine that holds you up, and so on. Take your time with this so you truly feel grateful and amazed by your beautiful, strong body. Do the same for any part of your body you would like to improve in some way, or any part of your body you’re concerned about. Create the expectation that your body is becoming healthier and even better at serving you. For instance, you might draw your focus to your eyes, express gratitude for your eyesight, and affirm that it’s improving. Get enough sleep, and be sure you eat well. Sleep in if your body tells you to rest. Take a little time to consider your sleep habits and how you might improve them. Make the best possible choices about what to eat. If you can’t eat the best food at every meal or snack today, send Divine Love into your food before you eat it, knowing that the Divine has changed it into something that will nourish you. Let go of any guilt. Think about and even journal about what’s stopping you from giving your body the rest, sleep, and nourishment it needs. Flex and tone your pelvic floor muscles. Use a Squatty Potty stool or at least lean forward when you use the toilet to put your pelvic floor muscles into a natural position for eliminating waste, and don’t rush to relieve yourself. Let it come naturally. Identify the feeling of tightening your pelvic floor muscles and squeeze them today for at least a couple of minutes. In this way, you help build the muscles that will keep you from developing incontinence (and if you have it to any degree, building up your pelvic floor muscles will help).
Day 5: Grieve, rage, and move on.
Affirmation: “It is safe for me to feel my emotions fully and to release them. The crying will stop when it needs to stop. I have the strength to tolerate my strong emotions.” Prayer: “With my spirit, I focus Divine Love throughout my system. I ask my spirit to identify all the causes of and symptoms of my discomfort, resentment, grief, and anger and release them to the Creator according to the Creator’s Will. Releasing old, toxic emotions is one of the most important things you can do for your health, but most people were never taught how to do it. On Day 5, begin letting go of anger, hurt, resentment, and the grief you’re holding on to because of something that happened in the past. Realize that the reason resentments are so difficult to release is that we have unwittingly given our sense of worthiness and self-love to those who have hurt us. Create a ritual for release that will contain your emotions so you don’t become overwhelmed by them. Set a timer or decide what you want to do to complete the ritual once you’ve experienced the feeling of letting go of the difficult feelings that come up for you. You might say an affirmation or do something that makes you laugh so that you can clear the air of the old emotions. This part of a ritual is often called grounding because it brings you back to ordinary consciousness. Having something to eat is another way to ground after a releasing ritual. You might also ask someone to hug you, or you might say a prayer of gratitude as you cuddle your pet. You could simply say aloud, “That’s enough of that. Onward!” Consciously choose to forgive someone. Write a letter to someone who has hurt you. Say everything you always wanted to say. Don’t stop writing until you feel as though the resentment and hurt are drained onto the paper. This exercise is for you and you alone. Expressing what you experienced—acknowledging it consciously—is a step you must take before you can truly release yourself from this other person. Now burn the letter and take a soothing Epsom salts bath. When you pull the plug, imagine all that negativity going down the drain. Repeat if necessary. Remember that forgiveness is something that you do for you, not for the other person. Forgiveness frees you.
If you don’t want to write a letter, you can say today’s prayer or affirm that you’re consciously choosing to let go of negative thoughts and emotions about a past experience and forgive the other person. You might say, “Divine Beloved, change me into someone who is free from my past and the beliefs I held when I was a child. Change me into someone who is no longer angry at my parents.” Then do the Epsom salts bath to detox and release old toxins down the drain. The choice to forgive and express your truth is an important first step in actually forgiving someone, but it is only a first step. You have to release old emotions of anger, fear, and grief too, and you can start that work today. The body tends to hold on to old emotions deep in its tissues, so be sure to follow this first step with at least one if not several exercises for releasing the emotions. Release buried emotions in a contained way. This will return you to a state of natural happiness. Old emotions get buried in your personal energy field and your body. Over time, they penetrate your tissues very deeply and even result in thickened and scarred connective tissue. Massage therapists and yoga teachers often notice that their clients begin to cry when these fascial areas are released during bodywork. Releasing these patterns regularly is part of being an ageless goddess. Think of it as being like flossing your teeth. You can use the Snapping Out of Grief and Rage exercise, where you face a chair and express your emotions, or the Cutting Energetic Cords exercise, where you cut the cords of grief, anger, hurt, and sadness that bind you to people who have hurt you. You can also meditate with the intention of having a good cry, or watch a movie that will get your tears flowing, or play a recording of a song that gets you in touch with your anger, and dance fiercely. Remember: we heal through movement, sound, and tears.
Be mindful that you’re not avoiding your difficult emotions, skimming their surface because it’s hard for you to tolerate them. If there’s no emotion associated with your forgiving someone, chances are that no permanent forgiveness is happening. I get callers to my radio show who begin to do an imprint removal with me, and I can tell that they’re consciously choosing to forgive but they’re resisting the release of the old emotions. They’ll say something like, “Mom, I forgive you for neglecting me and criticizing me whenever you did pay attention to me—” and then they’ll quickly add “—but I understand you were going through a lot of stress and your own mother wasn’t nurturing …” They start making excuses for the other person and stuffing their feelings again. You must let the feelings out if you ever expect to truly move on. This is not an intellectual exercise. It’s a release process in the emotional body! Forgiving and blessing those who have hurt you is the only way to get them or their toxic patterns out of your life permanently. It liberates you from self-entrapment. Remember that forgiveness is not about the other person, nor does it mean you’re condoning what they did. Grief and rage are very sticky: they will keep attracting their energetic equivalents to you if you don’t release them. For more help with emotional release, try the “21 Days of Forgiveness” program by Iyanla Vanzant, from her book Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything (Smiley Books, 2013). You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and A Course in Miracles also have lots of forgiveness suggestions. It can take more than one session to release strong emotions you’re holding on to, so you may need to come back to do more emotional releasing later on. You want to release the emotion and move on—not wallow in it forever—so that you can establish habits for ageless living.
Day 6: Be sexy and sensual.
Affirmation: “I am Aphrodite—I am a goddess of divine pleasure, beauty, and passion. And I am irresistible.” Sexuality and sensuality are connected with the pelvic bowl, and we need to get out of our heads and back into our hips. Doing so also helps the brain! We also need time, space, and freedom to experience pleasure in our bodies, and to honor ourselves and our desire for sensual pleasures. That means carving out time for ourselves—uninterrupted. That’s the delight waiting for you on Day 6. Reconnect with your pelvic bowl. There’s much to be gained from reconnecting with your pelvic bowl through movement, touch, and focus. Swing your hips or belly dance to music. Self-pleasure, or explore your erotic anatomy with your hands (not a vibrator) and maybe a mirror too—and learn the feeling of slowly and sensually contracting your pelvic floor muscles. Create a sensual playlist. Music goes right to the emotional centers of the brain. To further enhance your ability to connect with your sensual self, I suggest a “self-cultivation” playlist of music that you listen to while doing hip circles or self-pleasuring. Creating this list and updating it is sheer pleasure!
Use aromatherapy. Like music, smell has a powerful effect on the emotions. Use perfume, scented candles, essential oils, or aromatherapy to bring more pleasure to whatever activity you enjoy. You can look up aromatherapy oils and see which are typically the most relaxing, or you can just use whichever make you feel calm. See Resources for some of my favorites. Enjoy luscious lubrication. Many women experience vaginal dryness. Again, this is very easy to remedy, allowing you to enjoy penetration. There are many effective lubricants available. You can even use organic coconut oil. Own the power of your “Lady Garden.” Ob/gyn Dr. Sara Gottfried calls the female genitals the “Lady Garden”—a term that I love! This area of the body has great power once it is awakened. Do the following: Sometime today when you are getting a cup of coffee or standing in a checkout line, bring your attention to your Lady Garden. Feel the tingling that happens with attention. Then smile at someone or give someone a compliment. Notice what happens—especially with men. Just the thought of this makes you smile, doesn’t it?
Day 7: Love without losing yourself.
Affirmation: “I am a unique embodiment of Divine Love. My life is powered by my connection with Source. I feel whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.” Relationships are meant to connect us to our hearts and replenish us, not drain us. Today, take pleasure in your relationships, starting with your relationship with yourself. Make it a love affair—imagine you are the love of your life. How would you treat yourself? If you have a partner, imagine that the person you’re with relishes the fact that, ultimately, it’s you who are the love of your life. Taking pleasure in your relationships also means saying no when someone else’s needs become a burden for you. This can be a challenge because many of us have spent years putting the needs of others before our own. Saying no is very likely to fill you with doubt and guilt at first. With practice, you’ll find out how freeing this is. You will never be able to become ageless if you’re always donating your energy to others at your own expense! Have fun with your tribe. Have a girls’ night, invite friends over, or call a friend to go out and have fun. If you’re married or partnered, go out just for the fun of it and don’t put pressure on yourself to make it a “perfect” date night. Let go of any agenda other than having fun bonding with each other. Set a healthy boundary. As you wake up in the morning, set the intention to clarify or set a boundary with someone. It could be a friend or family member, or it could be someone you work with—or even an acquaintance or stranger. Remember that when you honor your own needs, you’re inspiring others to honor theirs too, so when asked to do something you don’t want to do, don’t be afraid to say, Saying no can be very invigorating! I wish I had the solution for you, but I have faith that it will come to you.” We often feel compelled to rescue others in order to soothe our own worry and sense of powerlessness. Remember, people often go through difficulties because they need to reconnect with their own Divine Source.
You are actually causing them harm when you bail them out. Don’t stand in their way just to alleviate your own worry that they won’t be okay. Be loving and supportive, and assist someone if it feels right to do so and won’t deplete you. But if your heart (or body) tells you that the best course of action is to express compassion and not take on their troubles and try to fix them, listen to it! Reflect on your relationship with a man in your life. All of us have men in our lives. Spend some time thinking about how a man or boy you care about is feeling pressured to be a certain way regardless of how he feels. Whether it’s a son who feels he has to be good at sports or a brother who feels he can’t show his vulnerability and fear when it comes to dealing with your aging parents, there’s a man in your life who can benefit when you connect with your ageless goddess self and let go of old ideas about how we are “supposed” to act and feel to fit into a culture that diminishes all that’s feminine or womanly. Express gratitude for what you learned from your mother or daughter, and work to heal that relationship. There’s nothing like the mother-daughter bond to cause you extreme joy or extreme pain. Whatever your mother-daughter relationships are, however troubled they might be, there is something your soul can learn from that. Honor and cherish that today. Then, for your own sake, make a move toward healing the mother-daughter bond you have with your mother or daughter. It can be something small, like simply telling her, “I haven’t said this in a while, but I love you.” It can be setting a boundary that’s healthy for both of you (for example, not picking up the phone when your mother calls if you know that she’s just going to complain). Even if you don’t have daughters or if your mother has passed, think about your girlfriends or female family members who occasionally drain you. Learn to express your love to yourself by doing a cord-cutting exercise to ensure that you’re not maintaining any draining energetic cords to your late mother or anyone else.
Day 8: Eat like a goddess.
Affirmation: “I eat slowly and sensually, with great pleasure, savoring every bite.” Prayer: “Divine Beloved, change me into someone who enjoys my body and the healthy food I choose to eat. Help me make the best possible choices for nourishing myself.” For many of us, food has become a chore, a threat, a necessity—anything but a pleasure. For today, banish the food police and your internal guilt and judgment about what you eat, and put fresh and delicious foods on the menu. Nourish your body while truly enjoying your food. Eat sensually, like a divine goddess infusing her body with the luscious fruits of the earth. Savor the foods you eat, whatever they are. Arrange food on your plate beautifully, and then eat slowly and sensually as though you were slow dancing in the moonlight. You might also make a point of eating with people whose company gives you pleasure. As you eat, pay attention to how good it feels and what a delicious experience eating is. Try to eat as healthfully as possible, and if you end up indulging in a treat, relish every bite of it. Chew slowly! Inhale the aroma of your food or drink before you bring it to your lips. Then enjoy every mouthful or sip. Think about how it feels to have a pleasurable relationship with food that’s good for you—and how it feels to enjoy a treat without feeling guilty or ashamed. Eat as though you are making love with your food. Try a new, healthy food or recipe—especially if it involves vegetables. Let’s face it—underneath all the advice about diet, and beyond all our individual differences, every one of us could eat more vegetables. Sometimes it’s just easier to reach for something else to put on our plates. Make a point today of trying a new vegetable or preparing a new vegetable dish. You can find recipes on the Internet very easily and even search by vegetable, which is helpful when a particular vegetable is in season, plentiful, and at the height of its taste and nutritional quality. Do tapping, using EFT (the Emotional Freedom Techniques) before each meal or snack. Try it for a day, using it before you begin to eat a meal or snack. Pay attention to how you feel during the exercise and afterward.
Day 9: Move joyously and sensually—like a cat!
Affirmation: “My body was designed to move and stretch and feel strong, flexible, and alive. I love the feeling.” Prayer: “Divine Beloved, change me into someone who enjoys moving in my body. Help me find ways to move my body throughout the day, in ways that build my strength and vitality.” Don’t worry about “exercise.” Today’s the day to get back in touch with your body by moving it in ways that give you pleasure, stretch your muscles, and get your energy flowing so that you feel alive. Dance or have fun trying a new type of movement. Whether you dance or do interval training, whether you go to an exercise class or simply do some yoga poses in your living room, move your body and enjoy doing it. If you dance or hike for exercise, do it a little differently today. Walk in a place where you’ve never walked before, or try a new dance class. And pay attention to what feels good and what doesn’t when you stretch or move. Does a little discomfort make you feel good while you’re doing it? Does it feel good afterward? Be honest with yourself about how the movement feels, and don’t do it simply because it’s on your list or because you associate exercise with weight loss. Switch to a more joyful form of movement for today and see how that feels for you. You might make a playlist and dance around the house dusting or decluttering, or get together with friends and go for a walk outside. If you sit most of the day, set a timer and stand up every 15 minutes. Do a little stretching or yoga, even if just for a minute. Do some hip circles and some stretches. Notice how much more energized you feel at the end of the day. Practice balancing. Stand on one foot (when you’re not wearing heels). Close your eyes. Balance for as long as you can. Repeat on the other foot. Do this throughout the day. Pretend you are a cat. Stretch like a cat. Yawn like a cat or dog. And really feel how great it feels to tense your muscles as you stretch. Do a catlike stretch a few times throughout the day.
Day 10: Be gorgeous.
Affirmations: “I am a beautiful, divine, gorgeous creature.” Try saying this while looking deeply into your eyes in a mirror in the morning and again at bedtime: “I love you, gorgeous woman. I really love you.” Prayer: “Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who sees how very beautiful I am.” Day 10 is for connecting with your inner Venus, the energy of beauty that lies within you, and venerating it simply because you deserve to feel and see yourself as gorgeous. Today is a day for redefining what it means to be beautiful and for discovering ageless beauty. Be conscious of cultural portals about beauty today and reject them. Don’t dress for your age! Do a beauty ritual or have a beauty treatment. Whether you do it at home or at a salon, do something to enhance your beauty or adorn yourself—and take pleasure in doing it. What’s important isn’t how much time or money you spend attending to what you look like, but enjoying the ritual of adorning and enhancing your body so that you feel beautiful. If you’re not comfortable getting a facial or manicure, go to a boutique and get some personalized service in trying on and choosing clothes, do a hair treatment at home, or go to a makeup counter for a free makeover. Here’s a simple home beauty ritual: pour a tablespoon of sugar or salt into your palm with some olive oil, mix it, and rub it into your hands to soften them. Then wash them with gentle soap. Luxuriate in the feel of your soft hands. Close a cultural portal about beauty. Wear something that you once might have thought was “too young” or “too daring” for you to wear. Or style your hair or nails differently, in a way that suits you, regardless of whether someone might say that it looks too youthful on you. Make an entrance. Hold your head up as though you are suspended by a string from the ceiling. Relax your shoulders. Walk as though you are the Queen of the Universe entering a room, slowly and beautifully. Notice what feelings arise when you consciously do this.
Day 11: Know yourself as divine.
You’ve no doubt heard this before, but it bears repeating here. You are a spiritual being currently inhabiting a human body. Day 11 is for remembering and reconnecting with who you really are: your spiritual essence. Pick up your journal. One way to reconnect with who you are as a spiritual being—with the essence of you—is to write in your journal, or read past entries, or both. If you don’t journal, start one today. There aren’t any rules about how much you have to write, or whether you have to write every day or most days. You might even want to draw in your journal—drawing is a wonderful way to express yourself and your feelings. When you take quiet time alone with your journal, you can reconnect to your spirit and to Spirit. Remind yourself of your spirit. Often, we feel pressured to act inauthentically, out of sync with our spirit. Today’s a day to reconnect with your spirit and remind yourself why it’s important to be who you really are instead of who others want you to be. Today you might look at old photos of yourself from a time when you were expressing your spirit fully. You might go outside and walk barefoot on the earth or spend time among the trees, reconnecting to your sense of yourself as a spiritual being integrated with nature. Get an astrological chart done and spend some time pondering whether what it reveals rings true for you. Or simply ponder some of the cycles you’ve been through and the challenges you’ve overcome. Practice mindfulness. Pray and say affirmations if you like, but make a point today of drawing your attention to what you’re doing or feeling in the moment, without judgment. See what feelings and sensations come up and sit with them. You might find yourself feeling pride at having made it through the chaos of last week, or the stress of a challenging time at work, or you might realize you’re tired—or angry. Honor your spirit by practicing mindfulness so that you can notice what you’re experiencing. Find a way to connect with others in spirit and community. The power of the experience of spiritual reconnection can be magnified in a group, so consider joining one, whether it’s a 12-step program, a meditation group, or a prayer group. I also know countless women who gather at full moons or on solstices and equinoxes to connect with the Divine Beloved and the divine within each of them. I do this myself and have found it invaluable. If you feel more comfortable being a part of a community effort, take pleasure in that today while remaining aware of how it feels to be integrated into a community of people sharing an experience together. Say a prayer or an affirmation. If you have been avoiding saying prayers or affirmations, today’s the day to try it. Maybe it will feel strange to you, but maybe you’ll realize you get something out of the experience that you hadn’t anticipated. Say some of the prayers or affirmations, silently or aloud. Feel free to change the wording to make it more comfortable for you—and to make your prayer or affirmation a better tool for reconnecting to your spirit and to Spirit.
Day 12. Create a personal paradise worthy of Aphrodite.
Prayer: “Divine Beloved, change me into someone who honors herself by surrounding herself with space that reflects my inner beauty and divinity.” Day 12 is about altering your space, because too often we deny how important it is to be in physical space that rejuvenates us. We too often settle for ugly rooms, or being in dark, artificially lit spaces, and forget how great it feels to be out in nature, our natural home. So on Day 12, create a personal paradise that’s a physical manifestation of beauty and peace. Keep this simple and doable. Take 15 minutes to rearrange your space to be more supportive of your ageless goddess mind-set. Set a timer for 15 minutes and do one of the following: Make a small, beautiful altar—with candles, flowers, a favorite photo, or a beautiful piece of fabric. Today is the day to begin establishing the habit of creating beautiful spaces in your home, even if you can only do it 15 minutes at a time. You’ll want to use high-quality essential oils and music that energizes and relaxes you when you’re in this space. Today, you might simply order some new recordings to listen to when you’re bathing or use candles, flowers, and luscious scents to enhance these rooms. Then spend some time enjoying the sensual space you’ve just sculpted for yourself. Think of it as your personal paradise. Find the perfect place in nature to replenish yourself. Get out into nature, choosing a special spot where you feel comfortable. Spend at least 20 minutes there, being mindful of how it feels to have the sun on your face, the wind in your hair, and the earth underneath your feet. This is your natural home, so visit it often!
Day 13: Affirm your goddess nature.
Affirmation: “I deserve pleasure and joy. I am ageless, strong, and powerful. I relish great health. I am an ageless goddess, an expression of the creative, divine life force.” Prayer: “Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who feels ageless. Allow me to feel the eternal Source within me.” Be joyful and affirm your right to pleasure, using affirmations or Divine Beloved prayers. Becoming and then living as an ageless goddess is a way of life, not a destination. It means living from the inside out and knowing that the soul enters your body through your hips, not your intellect. You can’t think your way into being happy (although a positive attitude helps quite a lot). You also have to experience pleasure in your body and especially in your pelvis.
Day 14. Align with Divine Order.
Affirmation: “Divine Order is in charge of my life. I now turn my life over to Divine Order, knowing that the perfect solution to every situation in my life has already been chosen.” Prayer: “Divine Beloved, please change me into someone who trusts that what’s meant for me will always come, in exactly the right way and at exactly the right time for my highest good.” Living agelessly takes courage and discipline. Nothing is easier than complaining and acting old, which some people do when they’re only 30! To be ageless, you have to align with Divine Order and let yourself be shown what to do. Agelessness requires living in the moment, in alignment with the rhythms of nature. It’s simple, but it’s not easy because we’re under a lot of pressure to think ahead and plan out everything. And we habitually worry that we did the wrong thing, and we beat ourselves up for not being perfect. The path of imperfection is the only one that is sustainable. Aligning with Divine Order requires surrendering to the divine part of yourself that knows more than your intellect (your ego). The divine part of you is your soul. It means having faith that what’s meant for you will always come—and if it’s not meant for you, you won’t want it anyway.
Find at least one friend to walk this path with you. Connect with other ageless goddesses in person and on the Internet (which is especially important if it’s difficult for you to get out to be with people every day—or with people who support ageless living). Each day, journal about your experiences so you can get a sense of which activities you want to do more of. Use calendars, reminder apps, and appointments with yourself to make sure you’re honouring the ageless goddess you are.